Citizens brace for what may be a rhythmless summer as US drum numbers fall to an all-time low. Experts blame Canadian prog-rockers Rush after their appearance Wednesday on The Colbert Report. The super-group has not appeared on US television for 33 years and experts suggest that the Colbert appearance may have had unintended consequences.
"It is simple science," says a scientist who asked to remain nameless. "Neil Peart's 360-degree drum kit simply includes too many drums. As he took his equipment back to Canada, he create a drum vortex which has caused America's drums to flow northward."
The scientist encourages US drummers to be patient. "Peart has created a drum vacuum. Osmotic pressure will naturally draw our drums back home as the North American percussive system regains equilibrium."
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Hey...I didn't post this...??!!
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